Torture...

...And when we say we are living in Medieval Times, we are not talking about the overly-hyped cutesy themed dinner theatre that Humans like to attend. In fact, we are talking about the heathen torture ritual that Humans like to subject their captive Canines to periodically, aka BATHTIME. This monumentally horrendous Event takes place approximately every 4 weeks, or 4 weeks too soon on puppy time. Now we (Teena and Caesar) will give you a few painful insights into this gruesome Pastime. Here I am, after diving (terrified) under the bed at the Lady's "BATHTIME, Teena!" call.

What possesses Humans to think that we dogs actually ENJOY much less TOLERATE being dragged kicking and howling from under our various hiding places, and being shoved mercilessly into the stone cold hard bathing block known as The Tub, and then patiently enduring endless tugging and harassing and scrubbing of areas that are better left to nature's whims, is beyond me... but They are obsessed with it!!

What makes this Abomination even worse is the sickly smelling concoctions that They spread thickly over our bodies, smothering our senses and causing stinging eyes and clogged up noses. A double whammy for Canines of overly-zealous owners is when they are lathered, flooded, and lathered again - with a second dose of poison cream. This one They call Conditioner. Not sure what it is supposed to condition us for, but whatever it is, must be extremely powerfully evil. For days on end we cannot smell our blessed glandular scents but only the cloying artificial perfumes of Humankind in our poor fur! It just makes you want to go wallow in something nice and delightfully dead smelling...to wipe out the memory.

And then The Shower- Oh the flooding, the dastardly horrib- okay well I guess we are exaggerating a bit here, both Caesar and I do enjoy the water sprays a little, if only for thirst-quenching purposes - but oh the torture of water bombarding our eyes and drowning our pitiful cries for mercy!!! And then They mock us by handing us bits of treats "for being such good little doggies" throughout the needless Ordeal.

The final blow to this outlandish Crime is The Towel - the rough, vigorous shaking and patting and rubbing that we receive from a heinous bludgeon of fabric. You don't wonder now, why we streak so madly out of the bathroom as soon as it is all over!!



So Humans, in the name of love for Canines everywhere - please get this memo - WE DON'T LIKE BATHTIME AND NEVER WILL - so cease and desist already!!!!

Kicking the Rabbit Habit

There are few things in this world that hold our fascination more...than the particularly elusive, delightfully scented, crazyfast little creature called The Rabbit. Now you may think that all we want to do is just catch and eat; but you're wrong! Nothing compares to that exhilarating feeling you get after you catch a whiff, or see that still silhouette in the few split seconds that precede The Chase.

In fact, our senses are so primed for detecting The Rabbit, that it has become a woefully permanent habit of ours to blast off the mere instant we recognize one; in fact, we make it our daily pastime to sit in front of our window and keep watch. We make sure that our People know when we see one, and let out a cacaphony of frenzied barks and howls. Caesar himself once exploded his head through the screen window when he sighted The Rabbit! Here you can see us tensed and ready to take off at a moment's notice (although slightly overdressed for the occasion):



I (Teena) however, have had the incomparable delight of actually hunting one down and dispatching it, right in my backyard! My People were actually quite pleased with me (although they felt sorry for the Rabbit) since the Lady insists that every hound dog must have at least one thrilling kill in its life. Once I made my kill, I was a good dog and didn't "spread" the fun around; I simply licked the creature thoroughly in order to ingest that wonderful gamey scent.





Fortunately now, the Rabbit Habit has poured out into other areas of our lives...the other morning, it turned into a Bird Habit for me, as I (Teena) achieved my second kill - a mourning dove caught by surprise! And for Caesar, his habit has expanded to include skittering reptiles on which he tirelessly pounces.

So now as you can see, the one very habit that will probably never be kicked - at least as long as we Canines have our good sense about us - is that which involves The Chase.

We love OR!

What an adventure! Caesar and I just got back from a very long road trip to this amazing place called Oregon. (I have actually been a couple times before, but this was Caesar's first time out of the CA desert.)We started out in the car, but it was so nice and cozy that I fell asleep right away and don't remember much except for a few potty breaks. The People decided to split the trip in half, so that afternoon we stopped over in Sacramento. They took us on a long puppy walk before dinner, then the Man gave us some chicken from his salad. It was really tasty! (Don't they get how nasty dried kibble is?!)

Caesar and I got all rowdy in the hotel that night, I think the People were nervous that we would trash the place. The rest of the trip was uneventful. Once we got to Oregon, I feel like my nose went into sniff overload. There was so much to see and smell! 2 walks a day, a nice green little backyard to romp in, and of course treats galore. The People took us to the Saturday Market where we got lots of treats and attention, and I met a nice Basset Hound wearing a bandana.

We also went camping for one night too, after a long hike to a giant shower called "Multnomah Falls". (I wasn't too scared since I knew the Lady had just recently taken care of Bathtime.) More later on this topic... The tent was the best part, I loved hopping in and out! Caesar and I also got puppy smores by the campfire. The trip home was really long, 18 hours straight. It's okay, now we are back and ready for some new adventures. Woof!

Meet Caesar

Hi. I'm Caesar, a very energetic young Boxer. The Man named me "Julius Caesar Chef's Salad" but I also respond to "Sneeze", since The Lady thinks I am always sneezing. (In reality, I am just laughing at her but she doesn't suspect anything yet.)

My birthday is May 3rd, 2009. That's right - I just turned 1 year old! Teena is my older sister. We LOVE to tussle, fight, and rough it up, much to the chagrin of our People sometimes... They just don't always understand that when we Play, we are Happy, and that's what life is all about, right?

Although sometimes I guess I get too excited and can't control myself. I have given the Lady a few black eyes with my "Lethal Paws" as she calls them, and a close call with some teeth, and knocked a few people's jaws nearly off. Maybe I would have made a good police dog? Regardless, I am very loyal and follow my People around all over the house to make sure they are going to be OK. While Teena...well, she is just lazy. She likes to sleep in random places like under the bed, the office couch, and on the Lady's lap. I don't like snuggling or snoozing that much, I just want to be within a good viewing distance of everybody. When I get too bored I start biting Teena by her long ears (They are so tempting!) and boxing her around.


We have already had many good adventures, so Teena and I will do our doggone best to recall some of them and tell you all about our new adventures too!

Meet Teena

Hi. My name is Teena. Or, officially, "Polka's Teena Torpedo". I am a special Basset Houndie, or so The Lady says. I was born on November 18th, 2008 and was the only girl of my litter. The funny thing is, when the Lady saw my photo online, she fell in love with me and knew I was the only puppy for her. I made a long trip out to meet her - 8 hours! When she brought me home, I knew I had found the perfect forever home full of love and wonderful smells. I know I am spoiled - the Lady says I am her best girl - and she would know, she is quite the Basset Hound fanatic! She says I have a unique personality and an attitude, and it's true - I talk to her all the time and let her know exactly what I want when I want it. I even slapped her once out of the blue! But as sassy as I am, I am full of love for my People.

Here I am at six weeks old. I was fortunate to be raised by a nice breeder who took good care of me. She even sent my baby pictures to the Lady so that she could see my growth stages. I was so playful and energetic that I convinced the Lady and Man to get me a baby brother to play with - you'll meet him in the next post. His name is Caesar. We will post some of our daily thoughts and adventures soon.

Here I am hard at work blogging on the Lady's laptop. I mostly like to lay my head down and snooze on the warm keyboard, but here I was caught actually thinking.

Hope you enjoy the blog!